The Culture of Silence
My grandfather was a study in contrasts. As a child of the Depression, his family lost everything—the family restaurant, the car, the furniture, and finally, the house. Later in life, my grandfather didn’t have something unless he had two of them (or more). He grew up in a time when you could lose anything, including the roof over your head, so you’d better have a spare.
In the last twenty years of his life, he lived like Fred Sanford, with acres of junk scattered across his land. He had more Volkswagen Beetles than I could count, and none of them ran. He had all sorts of cars, trucks, and other machinery. Most of it didn’t work. My grandparents even had two houses. They were both on the same property (one had been moved from another location), connected by a big workshop and a hallway.
But I said that my grandfather was a study in contrasts. Imagine a junk man in tattered overalls, a cap that’s seen better days, maybe socks, and battered shoes. Now imagine that man with a college education, a Masters degree, and a career of military and public service.
In 1939, my grandfather joined the US Navy. After the attack on Pearl Harbor, he received a rare fleet appointment to the US Naval Academy. He went from being a Radioman 3rd Class to a Plebe, the lowest of the low as far as Midshipmen were concerned. During the war, the Academy accelerated their curriculum. After all, the country needed fighting officers. So my grandfather and his Academy class graduated in three years. It was 1945, just in time for the war to end.
My grandfather went on to serve 20 years in the Navy. During that time, he was a plank owner on the USS Saratoga (CV-60), served as the head supply officer for the Naval Academy, and received his Masters in Education from Stanford University. After he retired from the Navy, he became a high school teacher and then a college professor. He was an incredibly learned man. But he was also a junk man, who never managed to escape the effects of the Great Depression. As I said, a study in contrasts.
In addition to being smart and well-educated, my grandfather was an eloquent man. He could tell someone to “go to hell” in such a way that it took them a long time to figure out they’d been insulted. But he also knew when to keep his mouth shut. When I was a boy, he passed along two pearls of wisdom: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” And, “It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
Somewhere in the past decades, people have traded one culture of silence for another. Maybe it’s the impersonal nature of the internet. Maybe it’s the victim mentality in America today. Maybe it’s Liberal guilt. Maybe it’s a shortage of people like my grandfather.
I see it every day in feedback. The majority of comments are full of praise and appreciation, from people who enjoy what I do, and are polite enough to thank me for it. These are the same people—even though they’re eager to read the next part of the story—who understand that I do this for free. They don’t complain, and they’re not insulting.
But then there are people like JoeMamma, who tell me to “…stop being such a whiny cunt.”
Or this anonymous feedback:
The “woe is me, I can’t take the complainers” thing is tiresome. if it sucks that much for you, don’t write. but it’s unreasonable to expect to be the first person who puts himself out there on the web not to attract some cranks.
For JoeMamma and the rest of the anonymous rude people: I take constructive criticism extremely well. Whether it’s people who tell me that I’m using a word incorrectly—sometimes I am, often I’m not, but I thank each person for taking the time to send feedback—or the people who point out more subjective writing and story problems, I take it all in stride.
I don’t want mindless praise, and I don’t want sycophants. I don’t want to hear only the good things—I want to hear about the problems as well. I want to hear about the typos, the misused words, and the places where the story drags, or where it makes you grimace in disbelief. I want to hear it all. But please, be polite or be correct. Even better, do both. Remember, your rights end where mine begin.
The story isn’t the only place where people are rude or unappreciative. A few weeks ago, I received this anonymous gem in my e-mail:
Ok, so seriously we are tired of the naked women in the snow, its winter we get it! What happened to the naked men, or even the FUNNY pictures.
Did I miss something? Of course, I missed the constructive part. Or even the polite part. Instead, this person didn’t have anything nice to say, but they said it anyway.
Fortunately, comments like these are the exception, rather than the rule. But I miss the days when my grandfather’s words actually meant something.
I can live with the fact that most people wouldn’t know constructive criticism if it bit them on the behind. I can live with not-so-constructive criticism if it’s polite. I can even live with not-so-polite criticism if it’s deserved.
But I refuse to put up with idiots who think they can complain at will, who think that I have to put up with it simply because it’s their right to “free speech.”
I think that’s part of the problem in the world today. Too many people think they have a “right” to free speech, but too few understand that their rights end where mine begin. You do not have the right to be rude, offensive, or just plain mean.
So what is the “other” culture of silence, the one we traded for?
Too many people are willing to overlook bad behavior, because they want to avoid conflict. But that’s what got us into this predicament. We stopped reproaching people for their bad behavior. We stopped making a ruckus about rudeness.
Yesterday’s holiday reminded me of one of my favorite quotes, by Martin Luther King:
“We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people.”
I’d like to think I’m one of the good people. And I’m definitely tired of the appalling silence, especially where bad behavior is concerned.
I refuse to trade one culture of silence for another. I refuse to be silent in the face of hateful words and actions. I’m not Martin Luther King, but I’m going to stand up for what I believe is right.
And if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
I may not have my grandfather’s eloquence, but I can tell you to go to hell with the best of ‘em.
In other words, I’m through trading one culture of silence for another.
- Nick
Comments
45 Responses to “The Culture of Silence”
Leave a Reply
Two words: WELL SAID!!
And again, thanks for all you do for us, Nick. Like someone said on your last post: books are expensive, and those of us who love to read REALLY appreciate what you’re doing for us. Especially those of us who are poor college students who have to drop hundreds of dollars on textbooks that the bookstores will only buy back for $20. ::coughcough::me::coughcough::
Yep, right on, Nick! Civility and restraint have all but disappeared from our national character. And for too many people, “free speech” means “You have no right to criticize what I say — since free speech is my right.”
Someday … maybe … civility will return.
It’s too bad that you can’t just hit the delete key to get rid of these idiot’s!! Nick we all greatly appreciate the time that you take from your life and family to write and entertain us.
Thanks again
Charlie
Constructive criticism, you say?
Think I might just try some of that. To all those who think politeness and common decency on the internet is banal:
Why?
What possible good are you contributing to when you post a gramatically incorrect, poorly spelled comment insulting someone’s hard work? You can’t see their reaction. Can’t know what effect your half-words have had. So why do it? Are you merely a sadist, wanting to make others feel emotional pain merely to satisfy some part of your ego?
You could stand to shape up. Why not try being, at the very least useful in your harshness. Even if you can’t deliver it politely (or in an educated “Yes, I passed Spelling 101″ manner) at least be constructive! Help the worker. Don’t hurt him. Do you like it when people insult you? Do you enjoy having your work criticized unfairly and without proper support? Then why do that to others? Revenge? Mismanaged anger?
Whatever your reason, why not stop? Why not contribute to the greater good, and stop?
/ramblings
By the way, just finished book three. Eagerly (oh-so eagerly) waiting for four!
I’ve learned a few things over the past few years.
The first is that given the anonymous nature of the internet, people will say things that they would never dream of saying in person. People want to say things but they won’t own up to it. Hell, my email isn’t my everyday email. It’s my “anonymous erotica author” email. The point is, though, that if you wouldn’t say it to someone face to face, you probably shouldn’t send it in email or on a website.
The other is that our culture is devolving into a state of “I’ve got the right to say and do whatever I please.” Maybe that’s what you mean about one’s rights ending where yours begin (which is also an attitude I wholeheartedly agree with).
Three points:
(1) The rise in incivility is, I belive, an unfortunate byproduct of a growing information age. We’re separated from other people by screens (TV, Movie, computer), and are unable to feel real connections. So, people are more likely to develop opinions (and uninformed ones, at that) than they are to develop honest relationships. This is not my attempt to defend bad behavior, just the way I’ve come to understand human nature over the last few years.
(2) The number of people who can write coherently, let alone well, dwindles every year (you number among the well, BTW). I have colleagues with multiple advanced degrees who can’t string a sentence together. This is to say, there might be a teensy bit of jealousy motivating these assholes.
(3) Fame (and you’re certainly famous in the on-line literary smut world) attracts troglodytes. If you haven’t already, read Harlan Ellison’s “Xenophobia.” It’ll scare the living crap out of ya.
Keep up the good work in spite of the bastards.
I know that I have slept since then, being i am 44, but I remember hearing those exact same words from my own grandfather when I was younger. I also try and remember that I have this curse, blessing, I remember far to well what I have said and I have to be able to sleep at night, having said all of that keep up the good work even though I have only found your stories of late I have read them all and you do a GREAT job. My favorite author is John Jakes so that lets you know some of my reading background as far as print matreial goes. Keep up the good work and as long as it makes you feel good then do it.
I am posting this as anonymous as I would rather not have my name tied to online erotica, especially with Google being so thorough when it comes to reading web-pages.
I wholeheartedly agree with everything you have said, and at the same time would like to thank you for the first three books. I enjoyed reading every last one of them. I even got my girlfriend hooked. We both appreciate what you are giving away for free.
Amber is absolutely right that it is awesome that you are giving the book away, I am a college student as well, and have books that cost $150 or more, just for Mathematics. Which is ridiculous. You are giving something away for free, that allows us both to read, without incurring more costs.
Thank you!
ROFLmAO!
Nice tirade (:
I generally feel sad for obnoxious people. Bad behavior creates its own punishment, because other people pull back and the obnoxious people end up more alone, with having fewer meaningful connections. Then it’s a feedback cycle–loneliness begets bad behavior which begets more loneliness.
I do agree that not speaking out about it only perpetuates the cycle. I’m just as guilty as the next guy in wanting to avoid conflict. The hard part, at least for me, is speaking out in a way that pulls the person into fixing their behavior, instead of just shoving them back into the cycle deeper.
Sadly, be287m, I think it is highly unlikely that any of the obnoxious people who comment on blogs like this are going to change their ways due what we write. I’m not saying it’s impossible, just highly unlikely.
They wouldn’t take the time to do it if it didn’t provide some joy to them.
But, I admire your thoughtfulness in deciding to even think of ways to be constructive as opposed to destructive. I am not surpised after reading your stories.
Nick, I appreciate your thoughts in this blog entry and I agree. Just thought I’d add my voice to the others.
It seems that the only way (online that is) to make these people go away is too ignore them. Too bad that is contrary to what I would like to say to them if we were ever to meet in real life.
I weep for the future.
I am constantly amazed at what people will say to others, both in an anonymous forum like this as well as face to face. I agree with the comments listed providing reasons why some people feel they are entitled to say anything to anyone whenever and wherever they want. I think one reason for this attitude (and other problems as well) comes from the loss of community accountability. I knew as a kid that if I screwed up around someone else’s mom, SHE would call me on the carpet for it….as well as let my mom know so I’d hear about it when I got home also. People looked out for each other, got involved, cared, and felt tied with each other in ways that were demonstrated. There is a lot of emothional distance now. We don’t speak up, for many reasons, and we all suffer for it I think.
If someone has a critique or a complaint they should first think if they could do a better job of what they are complaining about and if so should TRY to assist the person that they have the beef with to do a better job of whatever it is. If they cannot do a better job, what reason or right have they to complain? If they have nothing constructive to say why speak at all?
… you’re still gonna write book 4, right? Cause that’d suck if you let a few assholes ruin it for the rest of us
Constructive Criticism:
I was always of the belief that even if you had something positive to say but nothing that would actually add to, influence or change a conversation then shut up and listen. Sadly I can’t think of anyway to limit the mindless negative feedback without blocking some of the abilities of others. For instance, adding filters would block some of the comments form others who are trying to help or add there thanks but trigger some artificial electronic sensitivity meter. By jut not reading your emails and discontinuing the feedback posting it blocks you from hearing the positive and helpful comments and it is pretty much running from the morons. I wish I had some better options for you, but that’s what you got. Sorry.
On another topic it sounds like you are somewhat eulogizing your grandfather if he passed recently or even if his loss is still causing pain; you have my condolences and best wishes.
I guess I just want to add my appreciation to what others have already written here and in previous posts. I’ve enjoyed reading the books you’re written so far and look forward to what is to come. I appreciate it all the more because you are doing it for free. Keep up the good work.
Hi Nick
I agree with the import of all of what you have said. However one thing I would question, were things really so much better in your grandfathers day? People have a habit of remembering the best of the past and not the worst, and society as a whole has a way of glorifying the past at the expense of the present. Probably nobody can know for sure, but perhaps there was as much rudeness and ignorance back then and it has mostly been forgotten? I would be careful about holding the past up as a better time, it had some pretty major faults all of its own.
Of course that doesnt excuse the rudeness.
The internet is similar to modern warfare - in olden times, you did your killing up close and personal, where you could see the eyes of the person you were fighting. Now, it’s more impersonal, the enemy is a blip on a computer screen. Before the internet, if you were rude, or mean or whatever, there was a good chance the other person could “open up a can of whup-ass on you”.
The key is “consequences for your actions”. In person, there can be grave consequences for your actions, over the internet, there are rarely any consequences for your actions…
You know, it made me think of the Heinlein book Friday, where it was pointed out that the common threading in failing civilizations, and the first indicator, was the onset of rudeness.
Too bad you have dorks that not only will bitch and whine, but actually will expend the energy to do so, as opposed to the people that enjoy it, but don’t expend the energy. I am sure I am suffering as much as others waiting for the next story, and I sure as hell don’t know what I am going to do when it’s all done to get my ‘fix’, but it doesn’t give me the right to complain in any form - it’s not like we have commissioned you to produce this - you owe us nothing. I just worry that after enough people whine, that’s what we get.
Thanks for the stories. The only thing close to what you have produced came from Rev. Cotton Mather.
I still have the privalage of a grandfather who is of the sort to “smack the nonsense” out of a person if they are rude. I can recall him doing this for as long as I’ve been alive. He now has 7 children who are upstanding members of socitey and dozens of grandchildren, of which I am one, who live on proudly with his family name.
I agree with what you said wholeheartedly. I’ve recently gotten out of the military and I have exprenced far to many people abusing thier right to free speech. Bashing on the soldiers and the contry. My friends and I didn’t put our lives on the line so the general populace could be arrogent assholes who could say what they want without reprive. We put our lives on the line so you don’t have to worry about your bus or subway ride to work in the morning being blown up. We did if so you could sleep soundly at night knowing that no ones going to come into your house and turn your livining room into a postapcoliptic scene.
I and many others enjoy the books that you wirte. I’ve read all three books at least 3 times now. I look forward to the next but you won’t hear me whine or complain that its taking to long. It gives me something to look forward too. So thank you and goodday.
Your grandfather sounds like a remarkable man, Nick. My parents both grew up in the same period, and some of the things you wrote about the effects of the Depression ring true with their personalities, too. (Although it was my mother who was the saver — Dad tends to throw everything away that he doesn’t think is “necessary.”)
If the mood ever strikes you to write more about him for public consumption, I’d enjoy reading it.
The main problem can be that the internet opens windows to people that don’t dare to confront conflicts in their own real life. Anonimity makes possible for them to construct a different identity, a fake personality.
For them… get a life. Yours is worthless (maybe).
Even if it’s so, anyone that’s tried at least once to put more than ten words in a single phrase to tell a story, knows how hard is to achieve what you are doing. From the other side of the Atlantic, please don´t let them bother you. Keep up the hard work. You have a lot of people behind, even if most of us do not tell it to you as aften as we should…. Thanks Nick
I simply agree with your comments on Jimmy Buffet and Bill Gates. If your grandfather past on I give my deepest regeats, I was fortunate to grow up with a family that had the same values and beliefs. (not sure about the porn) I know the time it takes me to just read all your stories, I can hardly imagine the time it would take to write them with the stlye and thoughtfullness it would take to create these stories. Not to blow your horn but, Great Job keep up the GREAT job and Thank You Steve
I’ll admit that while I took the time to read your (Nick) well-articulated message, I did not have time time to read all the feedback. Therefore I apologize if what I am about to contribute is redundant.
I would venture to guess many people really don’t understand the right to free speech, either in it’s historical context or in it’s legal application. “Free speech” has simply become a convenient rationale or excuse for a whole host of — what we might euphemistically call — expressive forms. It was certainly not taught when I was in school but one does grok from life, with a little common sense, that rights do not come without responsibilities — or better yet, nothing in life is free.
I do have to wonder, since it was brought up, if people do have the right to be rude, offensive, and/or mean. If one looks at the world today it does seem as if they do. I’m not saying this as a justification for such things; rather, it is something that caused me to wonder. Clearly, most of us would hope that even if people have the right to these behaviors, common sense/civility/respect for our fellow humans/etc. would keep their practice to a minimum.
We would hope.
And while it’s probably much easier for those of us not constantly on the receiving end of such behavior to say “hey, don’t let it bother you” than it is for you to actually not let it bother you, I seem to lack something more appropriately supportive to convey in words.
And it seems that phrases like “die all you rude assholes” is clearly not in keeping with the spirit of your message.
I don’t mean to sound reproachful; however, from reading your post and the comments that follow I am going to have to ask you what you were thinking to listen to those fools in the first place. Rudeness has never been in short supply, be it in the U.S. or anywhere else in the world. As such I would argue that rudeness is ultimately an inevitable fact of human existence. Having said that, I recognize that considering your relative renown you are subject to more critics than most and while I appreciate your zeal in purging all things rude and inconsiderate, I would argue that there are, perhaps, more deserving hopeless battles out there to be fought. In other words, I am trying to say that combating rudeness these days is not unlike attempting to hold back the wind. Essentially a fruitless effort. I would ask that for the sake of your readers, and especially yourself, you ignore these little “gems†and focus on the more valuable parts of life. To do otherwise is simply an exercise in futility. If I have breached the constructive criticism barrier please let me know because that is not my intent, I really just wanted to politely remind you that there are more important things in life than teaching a gaggle of brainless incompetents the ways of civility. Believe me this is a waste of your talent. In short I would ask that you just keep doing what you do without letting anonymous tidbits bungle you any more than is absolutely necessary. Aside from all that, thanks for your stories Nick, they’re good stuff. Keep it up.
Ok. You claim all this stuff happened to your grandfather - that he finished the Naval Academy in ‘45 and went on to serve 20 years, yet at the same time a lot of your posts mention how you didn’t write so much over the holidays because you have grandkids to play with. The time frame on that doesn’t work out at all.
If he was a young man in ‘45, it would seem to me reasonable that his grandkids would be young men now, not grandfathers themselves.
Clarification requested.
@ Confused
My wife is 12 years older than I. And I have three step-daughters.
The two oldest girls (31 and 28) have two children, and the youngest girl (25) has one. My step-son is married, but they only have two dogs so far.
So I have five grandchildren. Luckily, I’m still “so young.”
- Nick
I for one, am tired of seeing a naked woman in the snow. From now on, I want groups of naked women in the snow. You have ruined a single naked woman in the snow, it is now nothing special. I am saddened.
It’s a culture of entitlement basically.
But just for the record: society isn’t getting worse. It’s always been like this. It’s just that you tend to forget dicks like JoeMamma. They are ultimately forgettable.
That being said, your response was very well written. I run a website, and my response is mostly something along the lines of “I owe you shit. Suck my cock”. Vulgar but concise.
Reminds me of a movie quote:
We should all fear evil men, but there is an evil we should fear most. That is the indifference of good men. — Boondock Saints
Nick, like most people with a higher than room temperature IQ I’ve had a similar reaction to assholes at several points in my life. At one point I was going to take active measures against one (legal, just cruel.)
My father pointed out that assholes usually end up making their own lives hell. They act that way to everyone - and in the end the only people that will tolerate them are toadies looking for crumbs.
It’s not a financial thing. As a grown up I am forced, through business circumstances, to deal with a couple of genuine assholes that have managed to become significantly wealthy. They are also profoundly unhappy.
So please let me pass along a bit of advice from my dad. When you can, ignore the assholes, don’t even waste your time being pissed at them. They take care of themselves.
And thank you for your work.
So that are about 1200 words.
It´s a shame you had to spend them on this and not on SCB4.
I´m not a native english speaker, so I´ll clarify myself a little:
This is not meant as an insult to you. I just think it is a pity that some stupid *beep* are such *beep* that you can´t get into the swing of writing. By whining they just discourage you and the story will never end…
Keep up the good work! I really like it!
Hmmm…I have much to ponder now thanks to everyone and their constructive criticism. A person could learn a lot about life just reading these blogs, and I am. I’m in college and was never very social, so I like being able to learn from everyone that has had other life experiences than my own. Thank you everyone, and thank you Nick for not just the great stories but the great advice as well
Grizz
Hehehe ….Well said Nick I think you’ve just Coined SSC4
SSC4 = Your rights end where mine begin and yours Just Ended!
Phantom
“But I refuse to put up with idiots who think they can complain at will, who think that I have to put up with it simply because it’s their right to “free speech.”
It seems to me that they can complain at will. That is the nature of free speech. You do have to “put up with it”, in that you can’t stop them from emailing you. Of course, you are free to respond in any way you feel is appropriate (that free speech thing again…).
Sorry for the nitpick. If anyone is wondering, I do this in real life too (which probably doesn’t win me many friends).
Nick Gotta tell ya the truth… I wish there was a head shrinker out there that could explain this. But the internet seems to release people from reality. After reading your stories we find ourselves thinking of you the author, as a personal friend. Now, I read a John Grisham novel but I never feel like I’m his friend or something…. But online there is a false sense of security and even intimacy. Couple that with the long term of time involved. For some of your older fans the years involved to follow along waiting for each chapter of each book. It makes one feel more invested then they should. (I think we see this effect when teens get online and think they have personal friends out there and later we find that they talked to much, or you find them giving out too much personal information.) Somehow we feel we know the other person even if it’s all in our heads…. I gotta say Nick I think most of your troubles stem from this psychological effect. I don’t understand it but I know I’ve been an offending party… Sending off some cute comment thinking “my buddy Nick” will understand the tongue and cheek. Needless to say Nick, I think you probably thought me a first class jackass.
I think People seem to picture the recipient of their emails as if they are both sitting back shooting the shit with there friends, while drinking a Bud, and watching a football game. The Truth is they are never received that way. So as just one of the many offending parties out here in cyberspace, Nick, Maya Coopa. I’m sorry, and ask your forgiveness.
I do respect your talent… And I acknowledge that we’ve never met, and I’m just a fan of your work and not your “Personal Friend”. But you should keep in mind that many out here in Cyberspace haven’t come to that realization. They have invested their time and even a part of themselves in your stories… And do think of you as a friend, and as such write you much more freely then they would write John Grisham. I can’t believe that any of these people would write to Grisham or J.K.Rowling the way they write to you. They just wouldn’t cause Mr. Grisham and Ms.Rowling are just Authors… and not their personal buddy like “The Nickster”. Ya know what I mean, dude? Just something to think about.
It for sure won’t cure the problem but might help you to think of these stupid emails in a new light. :-/
“Too many people think they have a “right†to free speech, but too few understand that their rights end where mine begin. You do not have the right to be rude, offensive, or just plain mean.”
I have to slightly disagree with you here, Nick, although I agree with your general message. In the US even more than in Europe, the right to free speech is exactly the right to say things which someone might choose to find rude, offensive or mean. The problem is to make these people understand that while they have a legal right to be assholes, they do not necessarily want to be.
) than at convincing an internet coward to get a life.
But as you seem to intend to keep on being under anonymous public scrutiny, since you consider these messages to be the reward for your efforts, I strongly suggest that you learn to ignore them, because most of them are not worth your time, and you have a much better chance at helping those you know in person (come on, I’m sure you know many of them
It appears you have inherited your Grandfather’s eloquence.
As one who has read nearly all your works, let me say thanks. Well written, with very few spelling and grammer errors, especially when compared to most free online written works.
Looking forward to more of SCB4! Take your time and get it right though!
Your rant (and the comments generated) attracted my attention. I’d like to point out that communication between humans is 90% nonverbal. So, when we restrict ourselves to online messages, we are artificially limiting our conversations.
http://itzy.wordpress.com/2006/07/04/dont-write-to-me-in-that-tone-of-voice/
I don’t mean to imply that this misunderstanding is the case with your recent correspondence. I only thought it had an interesting connection with some of the other comments.
In the end, I hope you write for your own satisfaction. Art should be it’s own reward. Any value that we experience should be a side effect to the value that you create for yourself.
Nick,
As a writer you are going to get stupid comments whether you request them or not. It comes with the territory because everyone thinks they can do the job. Obviously they can’t. But constructive critic is right–there are so many other battles out there to be fought, although it’s your choice whether to fight them. The anonymous person who says if you can’t handle it to quit doing it is also right–once you put yourself out there, you are no longer protected. You will be criticized rightly or wrongly. Politely or rudely. Crudely or with gilded words. Either understand that these things will happen or else stop writing for the public. It’s like being a quarterback and complaining everytime you get sacked by the defense.
But I have a sneaky suspicion that these negative criticisms fuel some sort of fire inside of you. Your rants against them are poetic at times. I do know that when someone criticizes me I turn into a rampaging machine willing to do whatever I can to prove them wrong. And the best way for me to crash through writer’s block is to get some absurdly rude email or communication that says I made an error.
We should chart your best writing and the reading of these rude comments to see how you respond.
Seriously, keep putting good stuff out there, if you don’t mind. But if the pain from these negative comments becomes too much, then you gotta make some hard decisions about whether putting SC4 out there is a good thing for your own mental health. Considering your track record, I suspect that the writing process and the feedback from your fans sooth any discomfort you might feel.
@ BlackScribe
You wrote:
“The anonymous person who says if you can’t handle it to quit doing it is also right–once you put yourself out there, you are no longer protected. You will be criticized rightly or wrongly. Politely or rudely. Crudely or with gilded words. Either understand that these things will happen or else stop writing for the public.”
My reply:
I don’t have a problem with the critics, good and bad alike. I’m not demanding to be protected from them, either. I understand that I’m going to get the occasional jackass comment.
In other words, I can suffer the slings and arrows. But I’m not going to suffer them in silence. I’m going to respond with a howitzer.
Call it “The Chicago Way” of dealing with rude feedback.
- Nick
not to jump on Blackscribe’s bandwagon, but most of us know you are from the “South Eastern United States”. Knowing that we don’t expect the “Chicago Way” of fighting back from you, at least I don’t. As one of your readers from outside the south I expect a more gentile and poetic method of combat as befiting your southern heritige. the people of long fueds, cessesion, and unified politics create a certin level of expectaion of flai and penache when it comes to smiting down your critics and foes. Don’t just get back at them or get even. Escalate your responces to the point where they give up, boycott, or the rest of your readers vote against their party’s candidates for the next century.
Keep living your life and doing what your doing, most of your readers are right behind you.
@JoeMamma,
Actually, Joe, if you had paid attention in fourth grade social studies, you’d know that Constitution protects you from the US Government. It doesn’t say a thing about my requirement to put up with your bullshit.
Now, I put up with your shit till now because you were relatively harmless. But if you make another comment about my wife or my family, I will track you down.
This is your first, last, and only warning.
- Nick
I suck cocks.
[...] measure twice, cut once. (That’s my paternal grandfather, the master carpenter—not my maternal grandfather, the Stanford-educated junk man/college professor. But I digress… [...]