From the trenches…
I’ve been writing a lot lately. It’s an escape from real life. I have to force myself to start writing, but it’s as easy as ever once I get going. Also, the stuff I’m writing about isn’t easy (think B3-Ch27), so that makes it harder to start. But like I said, once I get going, it’s much easier to keep in the groove.
Now, a quick note about my real life.
I gave my brother and TFC a week to cool down. As I predicted, neither of them were mature enough to A) accept my apology, or B) offer an apology of their (her) own. Neither of them will accept responsibility for their actions, and I saw this before I called her a cunt. With both of them, it’s always someone else’s fault, always someone else who’s responsible for “making” them do what they do. It’s total bullshit, but it’s the way many people are these days.
Anyway, after leaving them alone for a week, I started calling their house. They didn’t answer, of course, so I left polite messages. Things like “I don’t want a fight, just a quick call to talk before you head downrange,” and “Really, I don’t want to argue, but I’m going to keep calling until you answer.” You know, nothing to put them on the defensive, nothing to give them a reason to fume, etc.
I finally got an e-mail from my brother, but it was one of those “your calls and e-mails will fall on deaf ears” missives. Everything was my fault, of course (according to him, at least), his wife has little regard for any man who resorts to calling her a “fucking cunt” (that’s a relief… she has a higher opinion of me than I do of her!), he told me not to call them again, etc.
I sent him a very polite response, telling him, “I apologized to you, I apologized to her, and I’ll be happy to apologize again. I was frustrated and angry, and I lost my temper.”
But in the next paragraph, I asked, “Why was I frustrated? Why was I angry? Those things didn’t happen by themselves.”
I still don’t think they’ll get the message that she is just as responsible as I am. I mean, if my calling her a cunt means she isn’t responsible for provoking me in the first place, then when do I get a free pass for my actions and their consequences? You know?
Sorry, Bro & FC, the world doesn’t work like that: I take responsibility for my actions, but you have to take responsibility for yours.
Sadly, I don’t see that happening any time soon. Like I said, they’re too immature. They’re both in their thirties, but I feel like giving them time-outs and telling them to go to their room until they can act like responsible adults. And these people are raising children! Another generation of “it’s not my fault” kids. Super.
So, that’s the situation with my brother. I don’t care if he says my calls and e-mails will fall on deaf ears. I’m his brother, and I’m not going to make it easy for him to ignore me. Sorry. Grow the fuck up, Bro. It’s a big world out here, and you can’t stick your fingers in your ears and shout “La-la-la!” until someone goes away. I quit doing that when I was five… time for you to give it up too.
Now, on to the story. I sent Ch6 off to the proofreading team about a week ago. One proofreader came back with corrections, but the other proofreader is tied up with real life. It happens from time to time, so I won’t get his corrections until this weekend (hopefully today or tomorrow).
I won’t release a chapter without my entire team’s input, so the chapter is on hold until then. That’s just the way I work. I have a team for a reason, and I’m not going to marginalize one member because he has a real life. They work for free, and I respect that, so I work with their schedules. You do too, although you don’t realize it, since I’m usually the critical path for any chapter.
(Now would be a good time to send a thank-you note to my team. They all have lives, but they give a lot of time an energy to this story. They do it without any public recognition, much less any form of payment. So take a moment and say thanks.)
Anyway, back to the story. While I was waiting for Ch6 to come back, I “forced” myself to write Ch9. It wasn’t forced, so much as “willed.” It was a good way to escape from brooding about my FC sister-in-law. (Yes, Paul and I are a lot alike in that regard.)
So I finished writing Ch9 this week. It didn’t turn out quite the way I thought it would, but I think it works. It’s an organic chapter, rather than true-to-the-original-script. In other words, I think it’s closer to real life in many ways. Now, we’ll see what my alpha reader has to say, since he usually finds a gaping hole or two, but I’m pretty happy with the rough draft.
I’ll post Ch6 as soon as I get the corrections from the other proofreader. It should be a couple of days. In the meantime, feel free to curse real life and its distractions.
- Nick
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45 Responses to “From the trenches…”
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More often than not, it is the siblings who get the short end of the stick. Call that a boon of being around always, or a curse of knowing your sibling inside out. But they do. And then the “hate-indifference” postulates kick in. Still, your extended patience might show them the door to reason, or it might be taken for granted and ignored. Joys of r/l.
And no skipping proofers, it’s the ‘perfecticity’ that adds to the joy of SC.
Kudos to the unsung heroes.
It may suck but I urge you to keep trying to patch things up w/ your brother. Fall on your sword if you must. God willing you will have years to laugh about this later but, for both of your sakes, do not let him go downrange without cleaning things up. The stakes may be too high. We’ll wait for the story.
Lets just hope you don’t have to end up going to see him to sit on his doorstep until he will listen to you.
Sounds as if his wife needs a bit of attitude adjustment…
“I’m his brother, and I’m not going to make it easy for him to ignore me.”….Actually this impresses me because too often people let family squabbles grow into huge barriers. Then the family rifts and there is no cure in sight. By showing your brother you care, hopefully he will come around. Someday.
Your “Alpha Reader” is male, and Editor MizPattay is “retired.” Are there now any women on your “reality team” and, if not, do you think that will affect female characterizations?
Thanks for perservering, we appreciate it.
Great. Thanks for the updated update. Can’t wait for ch. 6!
@ Tim
I have two women on my reality team.
- Nick
I guess I should be happy I’m an only child right about now. I wish you luck on patching thing together, Nick!
As for your book, don’t worry about rushing things. Your work comes out better that way.
Cheers
Troubles with rl and siblings… trust me i know i got 7 of them, and the two closest to age with me (me being the oldest) and i while close very rarely see eye to eye on most things and the fights are massive at times… but just keep what you are doing, keep at them. Gotta believe every person has some sensibility in them and in time they would see reason.
Keep up the good work, waiting patiently for chap 6 :).
[For any others who aren't familiar with military-speak, I had to look this up "to go downrange would be to go to combat..."]
Nick,
I’m also impressed and happy for you that you’re not just letting things hang with your brother, it does show you care. Hopefully it will pay off sooner, but should at some point, though maybe not until after he gets his head out of TFC.
[I'm the one that wrote last time encouraging reconciliation because I used to fight with my twin brother and just lost him to cancer.]
Good luck getting Ch6 out the door. It’ll be interesting to see the organic Ch9 too. Personally I like writing stories that way since it can be a surprise to me how they end up.
nothing to say much
time past so fast
when was that when i first read susan playing with paul
I have to disagree with Phil. I don’t care that the feud is with your family; what you’re doing to try to reconcile things seems on the verge of supplication. Even if it works (e.g. if your apology had been accepted), I don’t see how it would restore any measure of mutual respect. In my (limited) experience, directly apologizing for a major faux pas rarely gets anywhere. The only kind of apologies that I’ve seen last have been those made after a long, often unrelated discussion, or after a shared bonding experience.
A week didn’t help… maybe you could try ignoring the incident for a month this time? It’s clearly going to take time, and worrying about it all the time won’t help.
Nick,
Sorry to hear about the problems with your family. And here I was thinking up exciting reasons for the delay like Mrs. Scipio read chapter 5 and made you bring that chapter to life with her over and over and over again. Oh well, family ruins yet another dream…
Take your time. Your writing (and just about everyone’s) is usually better that way.
Take care of real life.
Nick- your brother is in a very difficult position right now. He is married and he has to support his partner. I will also say it sounds as if she is manipulating what she tells your brother to place her in the best light and the wounded role. Your brother is blood, and will always be blood. Hopefully 9 and usually) he will se through the distortions and half truths and dump her. I did. lol
Now, on to pleasant thoughts. Take your time with your story. Yes, most of your readers, myself included chaeck frequently ( or daily) for the next chapter, but you are doing an excellant job and don’t change your ways now. This is the best series I have read in a very long time, and the very best of erotica. Bravo, and Good Job
nurseman1961
I did respond to your last blog entry, and i am responding now. I hope it’s not too much…
Nick, you are a very funny man.
The funny thing is that you do exactly the thing you blame your brother for.
You do not take responsibility for your own actions, and you blame others.
You say: “I apologized…” Really? what kind of apology is it, if you keep on committing the very offense for which you apologize? You keep on referring to your SIL in this disgusting and degrading term on your blog, at the same time that you supposedly apologize for doing it over the phone. The is not even a half-assed apology. this is at best “lip service”.
And what kind of apology is it, anyway? You practically told your brother and his wife, in effect: “Sorry i called you a fucking cunt, but you must realize I only did it because you ARE a fucking cunt.”
I would not accept this kind of apology, and I am sure that neither would you.
If my brother, or even my father would say something like this to my wife, you can rest assured I would have cut him off for much longer than a week.
I am sure that if any living person would say something like that to YOUR wife, they can expect much worse than a “one week silence treatment.”
And if said person would call trying to apologize, while at the same time they were trying to “open my eyes” to the fact that it was really my wife’s fault, they wouldn’t have a chance of having their “apology” accepted.
And if, insult to injury, the ahole that did it would keep a blog, on which they would continue the name calling, well, i think they should feel lucky if i was talking to them within a year or two.
And the funny thing is, you keep on doing all this, and yet its your brother who “doesn’t accept responsibility for his actions.”
As I said, you are a funny man.
And as I said, I think the best thing for you to do would be
A) remove any trace to this whole feud from the web. it’s bad enough that it will be accessible through google cache for a while, and
B) find yourself some neutral arbiter; someone who will play for you the role Susan plays for Paul; someone who will not be afraid to ask you the hard questions and will not take BS for an answer, and work through what happened with the help of this person. After this, you may be ready to call your brother and really apologize. And you should feel lucky if your brother will be talking to you in a year.
(and again, I love your stories and I am truely grateful. Thanks!)
Wow Joe, a mature well thought out response. Tis about time. Nick is a good writer but not able to see himself well, except when he is channeling Paul.
Joe Schmoe,
Leave Nick alone he didn’t use any names but his own, if you have such a problem with what he says in his blog then don’t read it anymore,this is his personal blog he can write whatever he wants. You can’t you’re just an observer.
GO AWAY!!!!
Tink,
I’m sure Nick doesn’t mind some constructive criticism on occasion. You appear to think that Nick will stop writing out of spite because someone is critical of him on his blog. I don’t think you give Nick enough credit.
Joe Schmoe makes some valid points. While the whole TFC episode is humorous, it doesn’t lend itself to reconciliation. NOT doing what you did before is part of “taking responsibility.”
In any case, Nick, great writing! Thanks for sharing your talent with us. I look forward to reading more.
@joe schmoe
I think you have a couple of grave and fundamental misunderstandings.
First, “Nick Scipio” isn’t my real name. I’ve never used my brother’s real name, nor TFC’s.
Second, my brother and TFC have no idea that I have a nom de porn, nor that I write this blog. So they’ll never see any of this.
Now, on to the “meat” of your comment…
When you accuse me of not taking responsibility for my actions, I have to laugh. Why? Because you’re a fucking idiot.
You see, I am taking responsibility for my action. I called her a cunt. I apologized for calling her a cunt. I’m even willing to apologize again, if I thought it would help. My apology was for saying it to her.
But another of your grave and fundamental misunderstandings is that I haven’t apologized for thinking she’s a cunt. She obviously is, and her actions after the fact are further proof (IMO, at least).
There’s a difference between apologizing for saying something and apologizing for thinking it in the first place, which you aren’t subtle enough to understand. I make no apologies for my thoughts—they’re mine, and I can’t stop them any more than you can stop yours.
My apology was for my actions—I shouldn’t have lost my temper and called her a cunt to her face.
That I continue to call her a cunt here is meaningless, since she’ll never read it.
My blog is a healthy place for me to vent my frustration. It’s also a place to get a little support, along with some constructive criticism (mixed with the non-constructive criticism, like yours).
None of this changes the fact that TFC still hasn’t even acknowledged my apology, or offered one of her own.
I may be immature in my own ways—and I am, I assure you—but at least I’m trying to improve. She doesn’t even seem to acknowledge her own immaturities, which is immature in and of itself.
Now, regarding your “helpful” suggestion to “remove any trace to this whole feud from the web”… I don’t think you understand.
This isn’t a feud. This is my blog, a place for me to vent, without further damaging my relationship with my brother. Since he doesn’t know about the blog, it can’t really be a “feud,” now can it?
Last but not least, you may think the word “cunt” is a “disgusting and degrading term,” but I think it’s a word. I’m sorry you’re such a pussy about it, but that’s too fucking bad. If you don’t like my words, then go read something else. Please.
- Nick
Nick,
I am not so naive that I didn’t realize Nick Scipio may not be your real name.
otoh, I think you are quite naive yourself if you imagine that you are the only person in the whole wild world that knows you are NS, and that “there is no way your brother may find out you have a nom de porn.” It is possible he doesn’t know and never will, but it is NOT impossible that he will (or did) find that out.
You are doing yourself no favors by playing this whole jerry springer bit out in the public domain.
>> If you don’t like my words, then go read something else. Please.
I never said I don’t like to read your writing. au contraire: I said I do like it.
I chose to respond to your blog. I guess, since my responses are not welcome, that I won’t be doing it much longer…
You seem to have a tendency to be very quick with your name calling: in addition to calling your sister-in-law TFC, you have called me, a person you know nothing about and never met a fucking idiot and a pussy.
That’s fine, I can take it, but you should at least stop and ponder why do *you* do it, and what positive outcome is normally achieved by resorting to quickly to the potty-mouth routine.
>> Last but not least, you may think the word “cunt†is a “disgusting and degrading term,â€
>> but I think it’s a word.
I think you are being a bit of a hypocrite here.
Let me suggest this exercise: imagine that a close relative, let say your favorite uncle, called *your* wife “a fucking cunt.” Try to imagine your reaction.
I don’t really know you, but I’ll go on a limb here: I’m willing to bet that you will *not* say in this case, “It’s just a word.” I am willing to bet that your reaction will include verbal or maybe even physical violence.
I’ll repeat my previous suggestion: try to find your “Susan”, and really listen to what she has to tell you.
With affection,
the “fucking idiot pussy” joe schmoe.
joe schmoe: the “susan” idea is a good one…. you aint her. you made a point; (even broken clocks are right twice a day) now leave off,
Anglo Saxon monosyllables are often more appropriate than any euphemistic PC substitute. If you can’t hang with their use, admit it. Now lets just go off and read the fantastic story, shall we?
to whom it may concern…
I have neither wit nor rhyme..
intelligence or sensibility…
I just like to take up space
and take space through someone else’s place…
if the blog here rightly offends thee,
too bad, so sorry, not much rhymes with thee except sea…
OTHO… if this place finds sanity for the owner,
who are we to say that the owner is in error?
I can’t imagine
anything less intelligent
than someone who complains about a forum…
we are here to support a tale
if by chance the tale’s writer has tension,
this blog provides relief, yes even from the joes and TFC’s of this world, with the help,
of the joes and TFC’s of this world…
making sense?
just my two cents, can I have change?
@ joe schmoe
Why are you responding to Nick’s blog if you’re just going to criticize him? What’s the point? Do you enjoy pissing people off, or what?
Everyone has problems with their lives; he posted one of his, so why are you attacking him? At least he’s actually sharing something about himself with us. If you posted in your own blog about your own issues, we could just as easily be assholes such as yourself and piss you off with redundant, meaningless comments.
If you don’t have anything nice the say, then just don’t say it; then you don’t have to make a fool of yourself by defending your own ridiculous arguments.
Hey Nick,
Sorry about your family problems, hope your brother and you can hash things out. Been there, done that, at least for my family TFC got a clue and left, though she did clear out his savings and checking accounts prior. Anyway.. Great writing, great imagination, and take your time! We have followed your story from the beginning and we will wait till it ends. (Mainly because we have been addicted to it since the end of chapter 5 of B1.)
Take care,
T.
So much drama. What if TFC is fiction?
Here is a poll.
If this is fiction? What is TERB’s motive?
1. TERB is trolling for sycophants.
2. TERB is doing on line research for a future chapter.
3. TERB wanted something to talk about other than the interval between 5 and 6.
4. TERB is doing a Susan on his readers. We are supposed to learn something from this.
By the way, Nick, I’m not Judy.
I don’t often say this, but Nick, I think you are wrong here.
Your SIL is a fucking douche. Joe Schmoe is a fucking cunt.
Anyhow, hope that the blogotherapy has helped in the clearing of your head. And, if you ever embark on another saga story, can I pay you to be a member of your reality team?
BTW, always that The Fray’s “Over My Head (Cable Cars)” would be great theme song for Paul.
@Judith
Unfortunately, it’s not fiction.
And fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t need to troll for sycophants. Or, as a Forum-member (tphile, I think) famously called them, “Nickophants.” I have more sycophants than I know what to do with. I appreciate their support and feedback, but I don’t need more of them.
For genuine advice and criticism, I listen to people who aren’t sycophants. My reality team is a prime example—I don’t recruit anyone who agrees with me 100%. I like a modicum of agreement, but the disagreement and questions make my writing stronger. They force me to fix things, or to justify my choices, both of which make for better storytelling.
As for the rest, I wish this were all for research, or some psychological experiment, but it’s not. It’s my real life.
- Nick
As John Lennon said “Time wounds all heals.”
May it work the other way for you and your bro.
Ahhhh… Chapter 6… more than meets the eye.
I can see that Paul takes another step towards maturity, or at least learns a thing or two. I had two English teachers in High School whom I would equate with Prof. Joska. Both were tough as nails and demanded “better than that.” To this day I regard those teachers as among the best that I ever had. Paul will one day realize what he has in Prof. Joska.
Great work Nick.
Nick, imo Joe Schmoe has it right for how Joe (and I) see such things. You and others disagree. That’s OK, though now I see where Paul doesn’t get it. Too bad; I had hopes Paul would evolve a bit more. I still enjoy your characters and story, though I admit this airing of family stress has cooled my opinion of you personally. I still think you are the single best porn writer the net has to offer.
I just finished reading Chapter 6 and have to say congrates to you and your reality team. I love the growth that paul is getting from all his friends and family, as in most kids his age he knows it all and takes things harder then neccesary.
For all of the Joe haters, Joe Schmoe is not writing to hate on Nick, on the contrary he is trying to help by illuminating some inconvenient truths. He would not have taken the time to write if he didn’t care.
Nick - I also have to agree with the core of what Joe is writing about. You have to remember first and foremost your brother loves TFC. You will have to either learn to forgive and love TFC or risk ruining your relationship with your brother. She is just as much a part of his family now as you are, not matter how unfair that seems.
I agree with Joe Schmo 100%. You need to be able to step back and look at where your brother and his wife are coming from.
a new chapter but without sex. And still I read it with pleasure.
Wait, does this mean I don’t just read summer camp for the sex?
My initial response was also about the same as Joe’s, if I heard someone talking this way in real life I’d give about the same advice about stepping back and getting some perspective. But a blog is a whole different context; subjective and emotional rants are practically the reason blogging was invented. A blog entry carries the implicit understanding that it’s a reflection of a state of mind at a specific moment in time, unabashedly subjective, and it should be read as such.
Now if you made a professional production out of it, putting it past first and second readers and editing it down to the most flawless expression of I’M RIGHT I’M RIGHT I’M RIGHT, then I’d be more worried - but as an expression of where you’re at after a couple months of moral outrage over a threat to a relationship you care about, it seems pretty reasonable to me.
Now having said that, and realizing that this is the absolutely inappropriate place for giving advice, here’s my pithy soundbyte: nobody ever saved a relationship by being right. As long as this is a competition about who’s right and who’s wrong (or can even be construed as such by a meddling FC), he’s stuck in a position where he has to defend her, because regardless of everything else she’s still his wife.
If they’re already on the defensive, an apology like “I’m sorry for doing this because it was the wrong thing to do” is going to come across as being all about yourself and wanting to keep the moral high ground. I’m not surprised if they won’t accept it. (Even in an FC-distortion-free situation, that’s apologizing to your code of behavior, not to a person.) “I’m sorry things have gotten out of hand because I’m scared for our relationship” or “I know we’ve had some bad blood but somehow we need to find a way to work together to solve this problem” might get more traction, or at least give the FC less fuel to work with.
The trouble with FC’s, as a group, is that they really, really know how to use an us-vs.-them situation to their advantage. Anything you do that even smells like an attack just gives a FC more rope to bind her prey even tighter.
And lastly, I know how much you hate when people spend a long comment doing their best to piss you off and then close with “but I really appreciate your work,” but I still want to say I really appreciate all the time and hard work you and your editors put in. The dedication and effort genuinely show through, and it’s amazing that you’ve kept the characterization and prose so tight and polished even after all this time.
For lots of reasons, I’m reminded of Robert Heinlein’s comment. If, in a family argument, it turns out you are right…apologize immediately! Make of that what you will.
Nick, for what it’s worth, I think think you are doing the right things, but pushing too hard. However, if your brother is going downrange, I can understand the urgency.
Chapter 6 was brilliantly written, I liked Paul maturing, except for the bit where he didn’t.
I thought after everything that happened with Gina, I thought he would have stayed on the phone to Kendall instead of sulking. To me, that was the most significant event in the chapter, but maybe that’s just me. I suspect that’s going to come bac and bite him on the ass.
Darn, I should have checked that last comment before hitting send, the grammar is terrible.
Sorry everybody.
@Bob
You wrote:
Well, I guess that meets your quota of passive-aggressive bullshit.
FYI, I “get it” much better than you do, especially about my own personality.
We can agree to disagree, but your patronizing comments are a sure-fire way to piss me off.
Fortunately, I don’t give a shit about your opinion of me. Go read something else. And go fuck yourself while you’re at it.
- Nick
Nick, I hope you take this the right way. I hate you.
You have made me addicted to SC and ch. 6 is just the proof of it. In the beginning I read for the erotic content. Then you publish one chapter without it and I love it. And it´s the last book.
But if you keep up your usual standard at least I go down in flames.
Just read chaprter 6 and enjoyed it. I hope your brother realizes that enen though you had a fight you still love HIM and can tolerate TFC if she is polite to you. Hope things work out.
Three things:
1. I do appreciate your team. Editors, proofreaders, etc. are very important to the enjoyability of a story. Or readability, of course. I’ve read some very good stories online that were very hard to read because of typo’s, grammar, or bad editing. Because of your team, your stories read well and I can then really get into the story itself. Thanks again to your team.
2. Please know that although we all are sometimes impatient for the next chapter, I do appreciate how much time this takes out of your real life.
3. I can symphathize with you about your family problems. I have a similar thing except in my case, my wife is the FC. Your description of your sister-in-law’s emotional maturity sure fits. Anyway, I also hope things work out for you and your brother. Maybe he’ll eventually see the light.
Ch6 was a great read. Keep up the great work to you and your team.
As for your personal issue, I think it’s going to take some time. But I think your brother is asking for time to think. If you keep calling and e-mailing, you will only keep him thinking on it and he will not get beyond being mad at you for uttering the word ‘cunt’ to his wife. The longer he remembers, the easier it is for TFC to manipulate him. Give him some space and do as he asks for the time being. I know if my brother did what you had and kept calling to remind me, even with good intent, I would still be brooding. Time is the only thing on your side at this point.
Good Luck
Nick,
As a veteran, I would offer the following advice… take it or leave it:
1) Write your brother a letter. Not an e-mail. Not a phone call. Write an honest-to-God apology letter and send it to him at his unit before he deploys. The good news is the APO system is remarkably good… at least it used to be… in getting mail to the soldier or airman in question.
2) Do not contact your sister-in-law at all, except to send her flowers as an apology.
This will take a good bit of necessary humble pie on your part. Suck it up and drive on. I don’t know what your brother does for his Uncle, but I do know this: a distracted soldier is a dead soldier.
Say what you need to say in the form of flowers and a letter and let it die. When he comes back, then you can deal with TFC.
-Ed
ps Been reading for a while… good work all around. It is well-written and engaging.
Hey Nick
I think it is a good thing that you tried to make peace with your sister in law but it’s not such a good thing that you *still think* she’s TFC and not merely just your SIL. You of course are free to privately think that about her, but when you apologize to her for *using* that epithet and it comes off as insincere to her and your brother, well how they are treating you doesn’t surprise me a bit. I may be an only child but I’m savvy enough to know it’s damned hard to fool a relative, so I’m sure that the reason why your brother may not have let you off the hook is that he’s picked up on the *insincerity* of your apology, that and part of being a mature grown man (or woman) is to side with your spouse and not with the family you were born into. Throw in a military deployment, and well I don’t feel so hostile towards your brother or your SIL and how they seem to be treating you badly.
This strikes me as the sort of situation that hopefully Susan (or one of the other more mature women characters in SC or possibly even Trip) would be able to advise Paul on.
Anyhoo, you might give what I’ve written about your personal situation some thought…just like some of the situations in which Paul has faced, there is room for all parties to do a little ‘growing up’.
Looking forward to more of SC and your other works when you get them posted.
I hope your difficulties with your brother (and his wife, more to the point) get better. I’m familiar with extending an olive branch to a brother’s wife (my twin married an insecure and VERY controlling woman… his choice, but I *do* wish he’d chosen somebody else!) and getting back a self-righteous “my overreactions are your fault, I’ve never done anything wrong, so that means everything has to be your fault” lecture… I hope she mellows out, or he tires of her bullshit. Good luck.